Empathy Counterpoints (Part 1)

If you buy into the idea that empathy (in general, or in the workplace) has value, then I would guess that you’ll find most of our articles to be aligned with your thinking. Good to have you join us, and I look forward to debating the finer points of managing with empathy and some of the wider points around ways of viewing and approaching empathy!

However, not everyone believes that empathy has intrinsic value in the workplace. As we’ve started engaging with larger communities, we’ve found a fair number of people who don’t believe in the power or value of using empathy as a principle.

In most cases, these counterarguments to Empathy and Empathic Management techniques boil down into two categories: arguments against the idea (people who don’t see the significant value of empathy), and arguments against the implementation (people who don’t see the value of active empathy in the workplace, or the value of empathic tools).  Depending on your experiences and personality, you may see the value in all, some, or none of these viewpoints, but there’s always value to be had in the discussion!

To begin then, lets look at the ideology today, and I'll explore more issues around implementation in a future article!

IDEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

Those who pushback against empathy ideologically generally align with people who feel that looking out for number one is the right way to go.  If you identify with Gordon Gekko (“Greed is Good!”), feel that everyone should be able to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”, or that “winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing”, then chances are strong that the value of empathy may not be as apparent.

And that’s not a bad thing!

Life has had a clear ‘us versus them’ quality to it since the dawn of time. Class systems exist because we allow them to, and in no small way, it’s because unquestionably, there are differences in each of us.  These differences can be evaluated by an infinite number of systems, and depending on that system, your value will be different. If you’re lucky enough to be in a system that prefers your skills , then it’s likely you’ll dislike other systems.  So, if you’ve worked in top-down driven non-empathic organizations your whole life, and have successfully navigated those waters, then it’s unlikely you’ll see the benefits of changing now.

As I said, there’s no harm in looking out for number one first; and there’s no harm in believing strongly in ideas that have worked out well for you. However, that’s not to say you’re off the hook here.  And I’ll tell you why…

OK, WHY, ALREADY?

I’m a believer in the notion that for every common saying, practice, or belief that there is an equal and opposite saying, practice, or belief. Examples:

• “A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned” vs. “You Have to Spend Money to Make Money”
• Liberal/social systems vs. Conservative/individual systems.
• Value of the mind vs. value of the body

What this leads me to believe is that, unsurprisingly, the world is a big place. As such, for anything you believe strongly, it’s guaranteed that someone else out there believes the opposite every bit as strongly.

Is it really the case that you must be right, and they must be wrong? Probably not. The truth is that sometimes you’re right, and sometimes, they’re right.  With very few exceptions, that’s the truth of the matter on nearly every subject; no one has it all figured out, and no one belief is every universal. Here’s an example:

Murder.

Murder is wrong.  I'm sure if I took a survey of everyone that reads this article, I would have 100% agreement with that statement. It's universal; we all know it's bad, so who would disagree? Murder is wrong, end of story!

Unless…

• …it’s your enemy in a time of war
• …it’s someone trying to murder you
• …it’s clear that you’re murdering someone who would harm others

So, even something as clear-cut as murder, then, seems to have lots of exceptions… If that's true here, then it's definitely going to be true about how best to manage people. It’s probably best to assume that whatever your strong beliefs are, someone else doesn’t believe in them at all.

COUNTERPOINT TOOLS

So as I am a strong proponent of Empathy then, naturally, there must be some people that won't see the value of it.  And again, who am I to say that’s wrong?

However, I can disagree. And I disagree for one reason that I can’t find argument against:

If you understand that there must be SOME value to the other side of that equation, you have another tool at your disposal. Discovering it gives you food for thought, and an ability to reassess.  Outright rejecting any other view than your own is often a handicap, as you may be blinded to a better idea, or may miss something critical that will help you more.  As such, being focused on what’s worked best for you without consideration of other ideas can be a recipe for disaster.

For example, if you’re a saver, it’s realizing that maybe you need to at least consider the value of investing. That’s not to suggest that saving is bad, or that investing is bad – what matters is realizing that your viewpoint is not the only one out there. Therefore, while the system, belief, etc., that you love has worked out well for you, it may not have worked out well for others, and they may have an equally valid system, belief, view.

So, even if you disagree with me on the value of empathy as an ideology, I’d strongly encourage you to keep reading with us, if for no other reason than to fully evaluate why OTHERS find value in it, and why it’s worked for others. Maybe you’ll never need to use it; and feel free to never try it. However, you will interact with those that do, and knowing something about why this ideology is gaining popularity can only help!