Empathy Counterpoints (Part 2)
Carrying on from part 1 of my discussion on the arguments against empathy , where I reviewed the ideological argument against Empathy in the workplace, we should now take a deeper look into implementation arguments against empathy at work. There are unquestionably some complications involved in using Empathy at work, and pushback here is understandable. There is no single perfect viewpoint on management, so you are right to question, of course, but even a valid hurdle does not necessarily warrant giving up on the benefits of using Empathy at work.
If you’ve read this far, but are still not sold on Empathy, then your argument likely boils down to a variation on this theme: “fine, empathy is a good thing, but it will never work in my job because of [REASON].” For the most part, the ‘reason’ comes from one of three key areas: applicability, effort and speed, or interest. Each of these are valid callouts (though certainly not insurmountable ones), so let’s consider why someone might consider these reasons, and look at the issues behind each one.
APPLICABILITY
“It’s never going to work in my job, because it’s just not applicable to the work I do.” Applicability raises an excellent question: can empathy apply in all types of jobs? The answer is absolutely! However, admittedly, it would likely look different in different fields, and the impacts and tradeoffs are not always as well understood.
There’s no question that most Empathy-driven management techniques have come from the information industry. Most evidence around impact is driven from information-based organizations. Even the focus of our collective on empathic management support is tailored to Information-based workers. Engineering, IT, Healthcare Support, etc. These are all jobs with a lot of similar issues, functions, and environments. Employees tend toward educated problem-solving types of people, who are more likely to ask questions and expect interaction.
But that’s not the work you do, you might think. Your problems and issues aren’t so easily solved by making everyone feel good. And those job differences are real. Some jobs are designed to run like machines, no argument.
Take an assembly line role. Here, a worker is simply doing a rote task that’s likely been too complicated (or isn’t cost efficient enough) for a robot to do. Some would say then that no empathy is needed here, they just need to do their job as efficiently as possible, and if they don’t, they’ll be replaced.
Similarly, consider a military-style environment; a company where the ‘thinkers’ and the ‘doers’ are clearly separate as well. Here, a serviceperson simply must do as they are ordered; puppets to the chain of command. That’s not to suggest that independent thought isn’t encouraged on some level, but often must take a backseat to prompt delivery. Empathy won’t work here and isn’t needed!
However, this simply isn’t true.
The implementations you need may differ substantially, but the ideology is the same. Understanding your staff and coworkers can only help you in the long run. Finding a means to bring the spirit of empathy-driven management to your team, regardless of your industry, will absolutely create a stronger team. Unless you actively want a weak team reporting to you, managing the connection points within your team will bring about better cohesion and support.
At a certain point, trying to replace team cohesion and independent thought with complicated rules designed to create easily replaceable workers is a waste of your resources and time. Many people build their teams with this ‘perfect machine’ in mind. If I just define the role enough, then I can replace one person with another, no different than a gear in a machine, and thus improve efficiency.
However, gears are precision machined; developed, measured, and created with exacting requirements. People can’t even come close to this level of replaceability; and trying to do so will only bring frustration and inefficiency.
The world is filled with weird, wonderful people. That means, with very few exceptions, that every single person in every single job is different. Therefore, every single job needs empathy. Not understanding those differences in any industry, in any role, leads to inefficiency and issues. Empathy is the means of understanding the connections within your staff and means working harder to find ways to improve it. So, unless you are in fact only managing robots, then empathy is 100% applicable in your job.
So maybe it’s something else….
INTEREST
“It’s never going to work in my job, because I’m just not interested in it.” Ok, so perhaps you’re just not interested in using Empathy. Maybe you’re afraid of getting to know your team better (either as an introvert of some kind, or because you think you need to be a strong leader). Maybe you think it’s a waste of time because your turnover rate is significant, or your teams only stay together for a short time. Maybe you’ve been doing this for a long time, and just don’t see the need. Whatever it is, you’re just not interested.
Ok, fair point. This is a common stance. You are who you are, and I have no right to tell you what you should have an interest in. Additionally, if you’re not interested, then there’s probably not much I can say to change your mind.
However, you have read this far, so maybe you can guess why I don’t think this is a great point to rest your hat on: on some level, you must be interested! You’re here, you’re reading, you must see that there’s SOMETHING about this whole empathy thing that warrants your investment of time and understanding. We’re naturally curious beings, but we’re also equally inclined to reinforce our beliefs as well. At this point, you should assume that on some level you may be conflicted about your interest in empathy.
Maybe you are afraid of getting to know your team because you know you may have to make hard decisions. It’s easier to fire someone you see as a cog than as a human. Maybe you’re afraid because you’re an introvert, and any more time with people sounds soul-crushing. Maybe you don’t think you can form connections quickly, or maybe you are just set in your ways. Each of these are understandable, completely. But each of them similarly implies that you’re looking to justify what you’re already doing.
You’re right to be interested. Don’t let fear of change, or of hard work talk you out of trying to see if there’s a better path. There are so many articles and discussions around empathy in the workplace, and empathy in general, there must be something to it, and on some level, you probably know that. That’s not to say you need to adopt every single technique or ideal, or to dive headfirst into a major empathy makeover. Just keep reading, and keep working to keep your mind open, and something will click. Something will jump out at you that you can try, in some way, to give you an idea of the value of empathy.
Every journey starts with small steps – so keep exploring your interest, or lack of interest. Pat yourself on the back for even getting this far though, and see if you can get a little further…
EFFORT AND SPEED
“It’s never going to work in my job, because it’s going to take up too much time and effort!” Well, I must be honest, you may be on to something here. There’s no easy way to say it, but empathic management absolutely takes more time and effort. Getting to know people is not an overnight activity at the best of times. I don’t have any fancy way of pointing out the fault in this argument. It’s real.
The only real point I can make here is that you are probably over-indexing on how much work and time it will take.
Sparing 5 minutes a day for a real conversation with a coworker or staff member is not a huge investment; but it can pay off more than you might expect. The interesting thing about empathic management is that it builds very quickly on itself; a snowball effect, if you will. That small investment, however, can pay off in ways you may not even be able to imagine. Dedicated 1:1’s where you can really interact with your team can take some time; but grabbing an extra coffee on your way in for the guy pulling a double shift last night doesn’t.
Similarly, you might be surprised at how those small interactions save you time overall. If your team is performing better, maybe you’ll find you don’t need that daily thirty-minute team alignment meeting? Maybe if your team knows you will do what you can for them, they’ll call in sick less, or work a few extra minutes every day. It’s amazing how quickly a positive environment can turn efficiency around. A little extra work from you to manage your connection to your team really can turn into a big improvement.
So, yes, you may indeed have a point about this needing more effort and time, and that if you need to move fast, it can be complicated. That does not mean it’s not worthwhile, however. Bigger benefits will need more time, no question; but even in small doses, it can have a huge effect. Don’t let the implementation suggestions derail you from the benefits of embracing the ideology, even on some small level.
WORKING IT OUT
These arguments about Empathy are, in essence, the same as those about exercise. I’m not interested in exercising. It’s harder than not exercising. It takes time and effort out of my day that I don’t have. I’m not a potential Olympic athlete, so it’s not applicable to me. And yet, I know it’s the right thing to do.
Empathic management is much the same. You can make a thousand excuses about why you can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, do it. And those excuses are absolutely real. And yet, on some level at least, it is still the right thing to do. Don’t let your lack of interest, your concerns about applicability, or your worries about time and effort hold you back from understanding the value of this tool.
So instead of working to fight it, arguing against the value, or railing against the world, you’re much better off just starting small, and seeing how it goes. So, try it, lean into it, even if just a bit, and see how you feel after that first little walk into this exciting new world.